Nancy Besson
Salvation Experience
My siblings and I were sent to Sunday School as children. My younger brother and I went to a church-sponsored summer camp when I was around ten, and it was there that I gave my heart to the Lord.
In my teens and twenties, I strayed away from the Lord, and it is by the grace of God that I lived through those years. I didn't go on to college right out of high school. At age 21, I met my future husband, Wayne.
Wayne was raised in the church but strayed away in his senior year of college. He taught Philosophy at a university. He became involved in The God Is Dead Movement. He tried to convince me there was no God, but I never gave in, but since my teens, I had already decided that I didn't need Jesus.
We married in 1972 when I was 25. Wayne said he didn't want children, so I agreed. He had a son from a first marriage. In 1975, I became pregnant, even though we used precautions. Wayne wanted me to have an abortion, but I didn't. Our marriage was really rocky until my 7th month, when he came around.
Laurie was born with 2 heart defects. She had 2 surgeries at 3-1/2 months and 20 months. I started praying to God, but still didn't connect the need for Jesus.
In 1976, Wayne lost his job, and we moved in with his parents in Omaha, Nebraska. I didn't know anything about alcoholism, but Wayne drank a lot. He was an alcoholic. Of all things, we bought the largest nightclub in Omaha. My life became a living hell.
In 1977, our second daughter, Nicole was born, and we got our own apartment. I remember my sister would call me once a week, and I would cry. She had become a born-again Christian a few years before. She and her family lived in northern California. She would tell me each time she called that I needed Jesus. I told her that I was too bad of a sinner and I owned a bar. I wasn't worthy. My sister, Laurine, witnessed to me that we are all sinners, and that none of us are worthy. We are saved by grace.
Wayne intimated me, so I actually took my two girls and flew to my sisters with the intention of surrendering my life to Christ. Sunday, March 26, 1978, the pastor of Laurine's church gave an invitation, and I gave my heart to Christ. I was much bolder and confident when I returned home and started going to my in-law's church. It was very small, but they just started a 12-week discipleship program. God's timing was perfect.
Fast forward to Christmas, 1985, we were living in Los Angeles, and my parents came down from the Bay Area to visit. My mother announced that she had become a born-again Christian. My father intimidated her like Wayne had intimidated me. My mother said that she wished she could see her grandchildren more often. In October 1986, she was diagnosed with cancer, and 7 days later she died.
Laurie had kidney failure at age 9, and was on kidney dialysis, which I gave her at home. She was on a list for a kidney transplant. Wayne and I were separated at the time. January 1985, he gave his heart to Christ, and went through an alcohol treatment program. I didn't love Wayne in my humanness, but I kept asking God to let me love Wayne with the love of the Lord. We got back together as a family, and we renewed our vows in March.
At Thanksgiving, 1986, we were with Wayne's parents at their house. On Friday, November 28, Laurie told Grandma Shirbroun that she was going to faint, and she died. We were out in the country, on their farm, so we didn't wait for an ambulance. We drove her to the hospital. She was brain dead. I tried to give Laurie CPR, but to no avail. We called her cardiologist, and he told us she died without pain. Laurie adored Grandma Shirbroun, and I believe she was where she wanted to be when the Lord took her to heaven. She died about 5 weeks after my mother. God answered my mother's prayer by having her waiting for Laurie in heaven.
When parents lose a child, no matter the age, they either draw closer to God, or away from Him. I drew closer to God, but Wayne drew away. He returned to drinking. We divorced. He died on Christmas Eve, 2007, of cancer, at age 67. Wayne never gave up drinking, but I believe he got right with God near the end.
I am 74 now, and I think I could fill a book of how God has blessed me and shown his love for me. Jesus is with me every day of my life. The Holy Spirit is inside me as my guide and comforter. My daughters and my sons-in-law walk close with the Lord. My 2 grandchildren, ages 15 and 9, accepted Jesus as their savior and were recently baptized.
In the name of Jesus Amen and Amen,
Nancy Besson
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